I’m not sure what it is about this year, but honestly, I’m ready for it to go. I’m not totally ungrateful, there were moments of joy and progress. I want to acknowledge those fully. I am blessed and I realize that. Things are kind of bad, but they could be horrible. As the year comes to a close, I can’t help but reflect. The song Auld Lang Syne has been on repeat in my head. More specifically, the version that played in the first Sex and the City movie. The scene where Miranda calls a sleeping Carrie in the middle of the night because she was feeling lonely on NYE. I’ll spare you all the unnecessary details and say this: Carrie shows up for Miranda because that is what true friends do. It’s what best friends do. I’m so thankful for mine. They held me down this year THOROUGHLY. Back to this song.
There are many translations for Auld Lang Syne. One could say any of the following:
- Old long since
- Long long ago
- Days gone by
- Times long past
- Old times
- Once upon a time
- For the sake of old times
As a person who self identifies as a Christian, Nigerian, Black woman, the song Auld Lang Syne never really resonated me. In fact, I don’t think I ever thought much of it….that is until now. You know that meme that’s going around asking God, choose another soldier for HIS toughest battles. Oh, Sunshine, I am that meme and that meme is me. This year has undoubtedly been the worst of my entire life. It started out bad and it’s looking as if it may or may not end the same way.
Should old acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind?
(1820) Auld Lang Syne . [1820, monographic. published by g. graupner and sold for him by john ashton.
Relationships whether platonic or romantic both matter to me. I don’t typically emote like others. As a result, people tend to draw their own conclusions about me. I find myself often misunderstood and accused of things that are just simply erroneous. I’ve struggled with what to do in these moments, especially in the midst of conflict. What I say, isn’t believed and what I do isn’t beneficial. Silent tears I’ve cried over and over again. When no one sees and when no one hears. As I write these words, let me be the 1st to tell you, I still don’t have the answers. I do however, have a plan, and so far so good.
We’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet
(1820) Auld Lang Syne . [1820, monographic. published by g. graupner and sold for him by john ashton.
I’ve made it a point to be intentional about spending time and speaking to those who do understand and know me well. Rarely if ever do I have to explain myself. Most importantly, when there is a misunderstanding, I speak my truth, and I’m believed. Sunshine, you might be thinking well, of course, that’s obvious. For me it is and has been obvious, but it’s hard to implement. I’m not a thug or a savage. I care, I always have, probably more than I should. When it’s not reciprocated, it hurts and makes me sad. I’m learning to not have expectations for certain people. For others, luckily, they are full of kindness and have no problem filling my cup with it. Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over…well you get the point.
And there’s a hand my trusty friend! And give me a hand o’ thine! And we’ll take a right good-will draught
(1820) Auld Lang Syne . [1820, monographic. published by g. graupner and sold for him by john ashton.
As 2022 comes to an end and I enter 2023, I’m going to take the good and leave the bad with whoever, for whatever, whenever. I’m also gonna extend my hand without any inhibition or expectation; being myself authentically. In the past, I’ve been so guarded and afraid. I’ve had unspoken thoughts/feelings and struggled to set boundaries or speak up for myself. Goodbye to those long old times past.
I don’t know what you are choosing to hold onto or what you’ve decided to let go. Either way, I support your decision. You know what’s best for you and I believe in you.
Let Your Hello New Year Light Shine!
Raise Your Light 