Have you ever heard, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me? How about, I am rubber and you are glue whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you? If you answered yes to one or both, then we probably had similar childhoods. Thick skin was def a requirement growing up and you had to develop it quick. As an adult, I’m pretty good at deflecting and ignoring rubbish, foolishness, and all manner of useless comments/feedback. However, I’ve been asking myself the following question…
What do you do if it’s you, yourself, saying the rubbish, foolish, or useless thing?
I was talking to a friend the other day and she said something that served as a catalyst for me to become more mindful of my self-talk. She said, “I would not allow another person to talk to me the way I talk to myself” I was quiet. I didn’t realize how often I use negative words when I talk to myself. Am I stupid because I forgot something at home? I was rushing and it slipped my mind, it happens. Am I a fat pig because I had appetizers, entree, and desert? I had a hectic day and worked through lunch, I’m hungry. And my all time favorite, “I cannot” and/or “I am unable to can” I can do all things if I just believe.
Words hurt just as much as sticks and stones and they don’t always bounce off, especially when they words come from within. These words can take root and manifest in multiple ways. Words become thoughts and thoughts become actions. The narrative needs to change. Sunshine, how many times have you said “I’m such an idiot for doing….” or “I will never…” or “There is no way I will ever…” or “I’m so dumb because…”
Don’t let anyone including yourself call you names or tell you that you can’t do something.
I did this often and sometimes I still have a slip. I realized quickly that I had a problem. And for every problem there is a solution. So….What’s next?
- Acknowledge that you have an area in which you can grow.
- Make a sincere effort to be mindful of when your self-talk is negative. It’s a process, be kind to yourself because you may not always catch everything.
- If you wouldn’t say it to a friend/loved one, do NOT say it to yourself.
- Affirm and declare. Affirmations are powerful and are a great way to increase positive self-talk!
- Try, try again, and keep trying. Be patient it may take time.
Let Your Positive Self Talk Light Shine!